


Investigation #34 as Co-Captains: Mission Dex Has a Hickey

by mysongsknowhatyoudidinthedark



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bitty is the Mom Friend, Friends to Lovers, M/M, POV Outsider, background Charmer, background holsom, background shardo, background zimbits, god i hate that ship name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-08 03:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysongsknowhatyoudidinthedark/pseuds/mysongsknowhatyoudidinthedark
Summary: Everyone can't help but stare at the dark, red hickey on Dex's neck. And, as part of their duties as captains, Ransom and Holster are determined to figure out who gave it to Dex, even though it seems like everyone knows but them.





	1. Chapter 1

As soon as the frogs show up for breakfast, all anyone could talk about is that Dex has the darkest hickey on his neck in the whole world. One couldn’t even see the freckles on his skin where the hickey is--that’s how dark it is. Nursey could write poetry about the actual real constellations on his skin because holy shit, that’s practically not really as dark as the night sky.

 

Except Dex is only into hockey, fixing things, and lobsters, to the hockey team’s knowledge. So who gave him that hickey is anyone’s guess.

 

Chowder tells everyone he’d already interrogated, and Dex didn’t give anything, so there’s no use in pestering and prodding because that’d just lead to nothing, after all.

 

Still, it’s Ransom’s captainly duties that forces him to question Dex. He pulls up a chair at the table, on the side opposing Dex, and leans into the table, his hands holding his head up for support, his elbows pressed against the table’s surface, as he bats his eyelashes. Feigning innocence, it seems, is the only way Ransom knows how to get things out of people.

 

Holster also takes this opportunity to get the information out of Dex. Rather than looking innocent and saintly, as Ransom had opted to do, Holster sits on a chair next to his d-partner with his arms crossed and a fake scowl curling his lips and narrowing his eyebrow.

 

So they decide to play good-cop, bad-cop. Big deal.

 

“Dex, I couldn’t help but notice--”

 

Dex rolls his eyes, careful not to let the slight blush creep up his neck. “I told Chowder, and I’ll tell all of you--it’s not a hickey! It’s a bruise. I dropped a wrench, and it landed on my neck.”

 

“Dude, that’s the biggest load of b.s. I’ve ever heard in my entire life,” Holster scoffs. “That’s a fucking hickey--the size of a mouth, bro.”

 

“Guys, I told you to stop ganging up on him!” Chowder protests, pursing his lip. “Why does he gotta tell you guys anyways?”

 

“It’s in the Haus by-laws.”

 

It’s at this point that Nursey walks up to the table. Panic sets on his face: his eyes bulge, and his eyebrows arch in a way that only Nursey could pull off as still somehow “chill.” He nearly drops his plate, all over Dex again, but he manages to stabilize himself.

 

“You’re so fucking klutzy, dude,” Dex says, but there’s no bite to it. It’s almost endearing, if anything.

 

Ransom and Holster pretend to not notice that Dex’s heart grew three sizes that day. He’s the physical embodiment of the heart eyes emoji, and they, naturally, can’t say anything because outing people is definitely a big no-no and has to violate at least, like, four Haus rules. Plus, it could be that Dex is just overjoyed that him and Nursey are finally friends, or something else besides attraction that could explain his sudden change in attitude.

 

Regardless of that, the captains watch as Nursey ignores Dex’s comment in favor of settling down next to him. “It’s not in the Haus by-laws, by the way,” he starts, between mouthfuls of course (primarily because he’s a teenage boy even if he is 19, and God, Dex has never found bad manners so attractive before). “I checked.”

 

“Thank you! That’s what I’ve been telling you guys!” Chowder sighs in relief.

 

“Dex, you’re welcome to share if you like. Just saying.” Holster shrugs. “Whatever. I guess it’s not that important if it’s not a hickey.”

 

Dex looks right into Nursey’s eyes, and an unspoken conversation happens between them. There’s a lot of eyeball and head movement, but that’s about it. Ransom figures he and Holster have it too--it must be a d-man thing.

 

Dex groans, rubbing his face with his palm. “I mean, if it is a hickey, I’m not gonna tell you who.”

 

“So it _is_ a hickey?”

 

“ _If_ ,” Dex corrects. “Who I may or may not be sleeping with is none of your business.”

 

“Whoah, dude, you didn’t say you slept with this person.” Holster’s eyes widened as he pulled his chair closer to the table. “You slept with someone?”

 

At that, Dex turns bright prink, from the tips of his ears, to his cheeks, to his neck--not a single inch of his skin, as far as anyone could tell, wasn’t that brilliant shade of red. Right next to him, Nursey was sheepishly running his fingers through his hair, looking anywhere but forward.

 

Chowder picks up on Nursey’s behavior, his lips tightening as he tries desperately to not reveal The Big Secret™ because he knows Dex and maybe Nursey might skin him alive if he does.

 

“He totally did!” Ransom picks up on Dex’s body language, but obvious not Nursey’s because he ignores the fact that Nursey and Dex have their feet curled around each other’s underneath the table. “Bro, give us the deets!”

 

“Stop harassing him!” Chowder moans.

 

“Fine. Buzzkill.”

 

It’s hard for Chowder to keep his mouth shut. He doesn’t like secrets, but he knew he would never, ever, ever out either one of them. There are lines that people--especially best friends--don’t cross.

 

So no matter how much Ransom and Holster continue to pester him, he won’t budge. Even when they bribe him with more of Bitty’s pie--absolutely nothing. His lips are sealed.

 

They decide to go to Bitty--surely if someone knows, it’s Bitty.

 

Bitty’s in the kitchen making a pie for another kegster when the two of them walk in the room, trying their hardest to not act suspiciously.

 

The blond glances up from his handiwork, an apple pie almost ready to be put in the oven. He licks his lips and sighs as he finishes with his lattice before finally facing his attention toward them.

 

“What can I do for you, boys?” He grins. It’s fake--he has bags under his eyes--but it’s there.

 

“So Dex has a hickey. Had. Whatever.” Holster takes a deep breath before continuing. “Rans and I--” He eyes Ransom for assistance.

 

“We’re just wondering where he would get such a thing from. Because he’s a hockey-slash-mechanic-slash-computer-science robot. Like Jack. Except, you know, Jack’s thing was history, not fixing things and computing, and also Dex’s emotional range consists of anger and not-anger--”

 

Bitty interrupts. “What’s your point?”

 

“We figured you might know? Because, I dunno, he looks up to Jack. And Rans--”

 

Ransom scoffs. “Does not.”

 

“He does. But anyway, he won’t tell Rans anything. So we thought maybe you knew?”

 

Bitty rolls his eyes, sighing. “I don’t get why this is so gosh-darn important. It’s not making him a bad player, is it?”

 

“Well, no--”

 

“Then it’s none of your business!” he hisses. “Look, Lord knows the Southern part of me is telling me to gossip about this more, and try to figure it out, but Dex’s a good kid. He can figure things out himself, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is probably gonna be a couple chapters long? probably 2 but no more than 3-4 (idk I'm still working on the end)
> 
> I'll publish when I can but reviewing for AP testing is coming up, and it's gonna take over my life sooooooo
> 
> anyway thanks for reading! :)


	2. Chapter 2

The whole conversation with Bitty allays them for a while. But it doesn’t last long because less than a week later--three days! What is this boy up to?--Dex has another hickey. And another. Ransom counts four, but Holster swears he sees a fifth.

 

(“Where’d you see Number Five?”

 

“After practice. In the showers. There’s one on his hip.”

 

“Dude, gross.”

 

“He’s paler than I am! I can’t help it!”)

 

They stare at Dex, who’s grinning ear to ear as Nursey brings him a cup of coffee from the cafeteria. And, like, they get that Bitty’s right, and that technically it’s none of their business, but it seems like Nursey’s the only one in the mix about who Dex has been fucking for the past week, and it just doesn’t seem right. Especially not to Chowder.

 

Right. This is for Chowder, Dex and Nursey’s other best friend who’s out of the loop. Ransom and Holster are just looking out for Chowder.

 

Except Chowder happily sits down across from them and starts talking about the Falconer’s game they’re all gonna see on Friday, so clearly it’s not affecting him too much.

 

They do, however, hear something from a certain redhead that puts them on high alert. “You put sugar in your coffee? That’s so gay, dude.”

 

“You’re gay,” Nursey retorts.

 

“You’re gayer.” Dex sticks his tongue out in mock petulance, and Nursey proceeds to whisper something in Dex’s ear, which makes Dex practically squeal with laughter.

 

“Dude, that’s hardly appropriate,” Holster intervenes.

 

They both turn bright red--well, at least Dex does. Then they look at each other for a moment and start snickering. Dex is howling with laughter, and Nursey’s laughing so hard he’s not even making a sound, before either can even face Ransom and Holster again, both of whose faces are incredibly cross.

 

“It’s not funny! How would Bitty feel if you said that in front of him?”

 

Dex snorts. “He’d agree.”

 

They bring it up with Bitty again, this time while he’s studying in the library.

 

“I don’t want to say why, but I don’t mind them doing that,” Bitty responds.

 

Both Ransom and Holster look at each other in absolute horror. “But that’s so effed up! They shouldn’t be saying shit like that!”

 

“Look, I’m okay with it.” He sighs, turning the page in his textbook. “And since I’m the hockey team’s Resident Gay, that’s all you need to know.”

 

“You’re taking this very nonchalantly.”

 

“I love you both very much, but please let me study!” he snaps, and the two run away before he whisper-yells again.

 

It isn’t until the next kegster that Ransom and Holster start piecing together the clues. Emphasis on start because they only collect one piece of the puzzle.

 

Some random guy (Brad? Brent? Some white guy frat name) comes up to the Ransom with another boy in tow and asks him where Dex is. Last time Ransom saw him, he was clinging to Nursey, getting drunk off his ass and giggling over everyone’s terrible dancing

 

“What?” Ransom asks.

 

“You know? Dex? He’s on your team?” Probably-Brad-Slash-Brent shrugs. “He invited me and my boyfriend to this thing.” He gestures to the boy standing next to him, who gives a noncommittal nod of greeting.

 

“How does Dex even know you?” Ransom’s trying to seem like an intimidating father asking what this kid’s intentions with his son are, but it fails miserably because Probably-Brad-Slash-Brent laughs.

 

“He’s in the Wellie Queer Club with us.” The guy waves his hand. “Well, whatever. It’s all good. I’ll ask around. If you see Dex, let me know.”

 

The couple walks away into the sea of pulsating music and waves of people vibrating to the bad pop songs, leaving Ransom reeling. When Holster approaches him, he practically jumps.

 

“Whoah, dude, what’s up?”

 

“Bitty was right.” Ransom shakes his head. “No, I can’t say it. Sorry. Nevermind. Just ignore me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing, it’s just we’ve been looking in the wrong direction for the person Dex’s been sleeping with. That’s all.”

 

Holster’s eyes widen. “You mean--”

 

Ransom nods. “Mmhmm.”

 

But they keep quiet about this for obvious reasons. They don’t bring it up with Bitty, even though they know he probably knows, and they don’t even approach Dex about it because that’s a little too far.

 

They talk about it so little, in fact, that they almost forget it when they see another hickey on Dex’s neck. And by almost, that means completely because they’re back at questioning Dex.

 

They’re at breakfast, and everyone’s at a table together, with Nursey, Dex, and Chowder all sitting on one side, and Bitty, Ransom, Holster, and Lardo on another. The freshman frogs are nowhere to be seen.

 

“Dude, seriously, you’ve got to be getting laid on the daily ‘cause you’ve got hickeys all the time,” Holster says.

 

Dex turns bright red and coughs. “I’m not--”

 

“You can’t say that’s another injury, Dex.” Ransom laughs. “Like, that’s a hickey.”

 

Bitty and Lardo, with all their best efforts to be subtle, glare at the two of them for their interrogations. They both seem to know, too, which only prompts Ransom and Holster to ask even more questions.

 

“Why is this such a big secret anyway?” Holster asks. “We tell you guys about our conquests.”

 

“Conquests?” Lardo raises an eyebrow.

 

“Love-making sessions?”

 

She shakes her head. “Not much better.”

 

“Look, it’s just not a big deal, okay? I don’t need anyone to know.” Dex looks like he’s stressing for people ~~namely Ransom and Holster~~ to not find out.

 

“What, is it someone on the team?”

 

The grimace Dex gives before prolonging the word “Well” is unbearably uncomfortable to watch. So unbearable, in fact, that the frogs can’t take it anymore.

 

Well, one frog in particular.

 

“Fine, Jesus, Dex and I are sleeping together!” Nursey gets up, slamming his fists on the table. “You happy now?”

 

The pair of d-men are left gaping like fish as Dex’s blush starts to match his hair color, his face buried in his hands, and Nursey’s Panic Face™ comes back with much more intensity than ever before.

 

“Oh my God Dex I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have done that that was so fucked up I fucked up so bad I can’t believe I actually just did that I’m sorry dude--”

 

“Shut the fuck up, man. You’re so dramatic.” Dex sighs as he collects his thoughts. “So I’m gay.”

 

Both Holster and Ransom are biting their lips. Similar habits. “Cool,” is all Holster can manage to choke out.

 

Nursey clears his throat. “And, uh, in case that wasn’t clear, I am, too.”

 

“I mean, I’d certainly hope so. I don’t go around giving my virginity to straight boys.”

 

“Dude, bi people exist.” Nursey smacks Dex’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah, but, like, no one’s gonna be like, ‘oh my God, Nursey’s not straight!’”

 

“I’m just reminding you ‘cause my mom’s bi, and that’s like hella important to her identity because she wasn’t turned gay she just--”

 

“Dude!” Ransom interrupts. “How long has this gone on?”

 

Nursey and Dex look at each other with sly grins on their faces. They both shrug in unison as Dex shoves his shoulder playfully. “Since, like, last month,” Nursey says. Dex simply hums in agreement.

 

“You should’ve heard them. They both called me at the exact same time freaking out because they slept with a boy,” Chowder says. “I had to do it one at a time.”

 

“Nursey? You have two moms?”

 

Nursey shrugs in response. “Doesn’t mean I’m not still like ‘Holy shit, I’m gay.’ I just thought I was ace or something ‘cause I never liked any of the girls in high school.” He pauses in reflection. “Come to think of it, I’ve never really liked anyone.”

 

“Except Dex?” Holster’s eyebrow raises.

 

“Except Dex.”

 

In response, Dex’s face absolutely lights up. It’s not quick, like a flashlight; it’s more of a slow burn, radiating heat and warmth and contentment everywhere inside of Dex’s chest. He flashes a toothy grin at Nursey’s direction.

 

“Dork,” Dex says with nothing but affection in his voice.

 

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ dork,” Nursey giggles.

 

“That’s gotta be a fine!” Chowder calls out.

 

Ransom and Holster wordlessly consult for a moment and nod. “Pay up, both of you.”

 

They both groan, but they’re still really giddy about the whole thing because they’re finally getting fined for being gross and coupley, so it doesn’t entirely damper their moods. Lardo and Bitty both smirk as they watch Dex and Nursey pull out money from their wallets to put in the Sin Bin.

 

“I’ve got to get to class,” Dex announces as he stands up.

 

Everyone waves, each saying bye with varying levels of noise. Nursey follows, trotting after him like a horse to a carrot.

 

All they see is Nursey slapping Dex’s ass, before Dex turns around and starts chasing after him. They’re gone in the blink of an eye.

 

All the team can hear is yelling and laughter before it slowly fades away.

 

“Rans, Holster, you fucked up there. You’re lucky they don’t care.” Lardo sighs. “I told my teacher I’d get there early. I love you both, but you’re nosy as hell.”

 

As soon as she leaves, Bitty starts smirking. “Shitty’s in town.”

 

They raise their eyebrows. “Is Jack in town too?”

 

Bitty shushes them before collecting his things and getting up. “And yes, he is.”

 

“I guess I have to tell the truth, too.” Chowder sighs. “I’ve got Farmer.”

 

And as soon as they both leave: “God, everyone’s getting laid but us!”

 

“I mean, we could fix that.”

 

“Dude, no, that was one time--we are not doing that again.”

 

“Ugh, fine. I guess neither of us will ever have sex ever again.”

 

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic.”

 

“Never again.”

 

“Fine! But just this once!”

 

Back at Nursey and Dex’s dorms, the two can hardly keep their hands off each other. They’re absolutely disgustingly touchey-feely--something neither of them expected when they started this whole thing. But, hey, making out is fun.

 

“Hey, Dex, wait.”

 

Dex stops kissing his neck. “Yeah?”

 

“Can we just like? I dunno. Watch Netflix? Neflix without the chill?”

 

“You’re so weird.” Dex shakes his head, kissing his nose. “What do you wanna watch?”

 

“That’s so gross.”

 

“You’re gross.” Dex giggles, pressing kisses on Nursey’s cheeks. “So gross.”

 

“And yet you keep kissing me?” Nursey’s all blissed out, his eyes fluttering to keep open, and his breaths calm and even.

 

“My favorite pastime.” The look on Dex’s face is so smug, like he’s proud of how good he’s gotten at flirting in the past few months.

 

“God, you’re so gay.”

 

“Speaking of gay,” Dex starts, “My queer friends are telling me to watch _Queer as Folk_. I apparently missed out on something monumental. Wanna watch?”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

And so they stayed on Nursey’s bed, cuddling with his laptop in between him. At least they didn’t have to worry about Ransom and Holster finding out about them anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol was that a hint of Holsom?? Maybe?? The world may never know
> 
> Anyway yeah that's it!! This was fun I got to do multiple chapters without it consuming my life (side-eying So Baby Pull Me Closer atm (lol that was a shameless plug)). Hope you had fun reading it!!


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